Family Life: How to Deal with Out of Control Children
The process of dealing with an out of control child can be tiring and yet cathartic to the family life in some instances. You have to understand the reasons behind the child’s behavior instead of concentrating on their actions. Sometimes it is a call for attention. In creating family systems for teaching your children to cope with stress or disappointment, you must create allowances for the fact that they are individuals with different personalities. Some people are quiet and reserved while others are overtly expressive of their feelings.
- Cute children can soon become an irritant: That charming forwardness or candor that was endearing when you were three would be appalling if you were twenty three. Children are given allowances when they are young but you have to teach them to follow the conventions of their community as they grow older. This is a gradual process where you show them that certain types of behavior are simply unacceptable to the family system. Acting up in public is one way where they feel that you will not be able to do anything. A look can bring your child under control if you have put in the effort.
- Do not become a child yourself: Where is the adult in the room? Do not throw a tantrum in response to a tantrum from your kid. Make sure that you are prepared to be reasonable. Fighting with your child is both unseemly and counterproductive. Instead you should be looking for solutions which work for your family life. Always ensure that the child understands your maturity. Once they start to disrespect you or the family systems at an early age, it is nearly impossible to control them later in life. At the same child you must give children the chance to enjoy their early years because it gets tougher as they grow older.
- Punish the behavior and not the child: Corporal punishment is a very old fashioned way of enforcing discipline. It can be immediately effective but over the long term it is will damage the child physically and emotionally. If you have been beating the living daylights out of your child, there is no way that you can turn around and tell them that fighting is not good. They will already know that this is the way to resolve conflicts.
- Never sleep on a quarrel: You are effectively married to your family for life. Do not keep resentments and act on them later. Your child is not an object of revenge but your responsibility and joy. Once the discipline section is over then you can give them a hug and show them that you still love them regardless of their behavior.
Cognitive Development in Children
Cognitive development determines how the child perceives, thinks, and gains knowledge of the world based on genetics and what is taught to them. Cognitive development includes information processing, intelligence, reasoning, language development, and memory. The most well-known and influential theory of cognitive development is that of Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget (1896–1980). Piaget’s theory, first published in 1952, grew out of decades of extensive observation of children, including his own, in their natural environments as opposed to the laboratory experiments of the behaviorists. At the center of Piaget’s theory is the principle that cognitive development occurs in a series of four distinct, universal stages, each characterized by increasingly sophisticated and abstract levels of thought. These stages always occur in the same order, and each builds on what was learned in the previous stage.
Affects on Family Life
When you are dealing with children that are out of control, there can be a large impact on the family life. Family systems should be be in place to handle the difficulties. Disruptive family systems needs to be understood and changed quickly. Family systems should be designed to respect and provide a loving atmosphere for the entire family.
Remember, every state and local goverment will have services to help provide further resources to any family in need of help. All you have to do is reach out. Everyone has to ask for help at some point in life. Transitioning into parenthood can be a wonderful, crazy, stressful, EEK! time. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others for support and love.